State of Mind Dog Training

One of the most difficult questions I get asked regularly is “what kind of dog trainer are you?”

It seems like such a simple request, but for me there’s no easy way answer that. People who ask that question are usually expecting one of two answers: dog whisperer or positive dog trainer. Those are the two big dog training philosophies that people are aware of and looking for, and the followers of both methodologies are very loyal to their own and distrustful of the other.

This makes my answer to the question, “what kind of trainer are you?” confusing because I am neither dog whisperer nor positive trainer and, at the same time I’m both. See? Now you’re confused.

My approach to dog training (and most things) is to always remain open-minded. This, I strongly believe, is the key to growth and development. If you close yourself off to something, you miss valuable opportunities to learn. Sometimes you discover something that you would never have thought of, and other times you get conformation that you’re way was indeed the better way. No matter what, you have more information and are able to increase your knowledge base about a subject.

I have never met dog trainer or dog training philosophy that I’ve agreed with 100%. However, I have found value in every single trainer I’ve talked to, watched, read, or shared a drink with. No matter who they are or what they believe, I’ve always come away with something.

As I’ve gone through my career as a dog behavior professional I’ve decided it’s about time I had an easy answer to the often asked question. Something that best describes my unique approach in which I train dogs and the people they share their lives with. So, if you really want to know, I’m a state of mind dog trainer. That’s the official title I’m going with because it best describes how I work with dogs.

For me, I care more about state of mind (both the dogs and the humans involved) over anything the dog is actually doing. A dog’s behavior is a direct result of his state of mind, and your state of mind is directly influencing your dog’s mindset and, in turn, his actions.

The reason your dog does everything is based on his state of mind at the time. If you try to alter your dog’s behavior without changing his state of mind you will get nowhere fast. For example, I never treat jumping, I treat excitement. If your dog is calm, he’s not going to jump. Dogs make really bad decisions in anything but a calm state of mind. If you make a dog sit but his mind is not calm, you’ve only put a very temporary band-aid on the problem.

Your state of mind is extremely important as well. Dogs are highly influenced by how you feel at any given moment. If you are not calm and confident, your relationship and communication with your dog will suffer. We give our emotional baggage to our dogs. If you are anxious in a given situation, there’s a very good chance you dog will become anxious as well, or he will become assertive and take the initiative to get his unstable human away from the stimulus that he feels is causing you’re anxiety.

My first step in treating everything dog related begins and ends with state of mind. It’s the most important aspect that affects your dog’s behavior. Always strive to achieve a nice calm state of mind for you and your dog. Doing this will cure more behavior problems than any training tool or yummy treat out there.

I invite you to join me and embrace State of Mind dog training and see how your life with you four-legged pal improves.

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Realistic Expectations

When I look back on the nine years I’ve spent with my dog Hayley, I cringe at some of the stupid mistakes I made when I first got her. Back then, I wasn’t a trainer - I was just a guy getting his first dog, with pretty much no real knowledge of how to train or live with a dog. Like everyone else in the same situation, I made more than my fair share of mistakes.

One thing I’ve realized is that you can’t feel bad about errors you made with your dog in the past. Many people beat themselves up for past blunders and mishaps, but it’s very unfair to do that. All you can ever do is the best with the information you have. Nine years ago, I did the very best with the limited knowledge about dogs that I had, and although it wasn’t ideal, it was my best at the time. So don’t think back to what you should have or could have done with your last dog, or when your current dog was a puppy. Instead, get yourself more informed now, do better today, and forget the past.

One of my big mistakes was setting unrealistic expectations for Hayley. I assumed she would come into my home, never have an accident, know just how to behave, never get over excited, instantly know my house rules, and understand whatever I wanted of her at all times. This, of course, was totally unfair to her, and caused quite a bit of unnecessary conflict in those early days.

I wish I realized then, what I realize now: that on her best day, Hayley is, and will always be, a dog. No matter what, she’s going to act like a dog – always and forever. If she sees a squirrel, she’s going to chase it; if someone new comes over, she’d going to be excited; and in a room with a perfectly comfy couch, she’s not going to choose to sleep on the floor. She’s a dog. And that’s more than just okay – that’s great! I wanted a dog, not another human roommate.

Once I came to terms with the realization that Hayley was indeed a dog, and merely acting as a dog should, I relaxed my expectations and began to enjoy the process of training her to better adapt to my very human lifestyle. Instead of resenting what I labeled as misbehaving, I looking at her with understanding and patience (well, maybe not too much patience), and worked to improve her behaviors.

Not only do you have a dog, but you have a particular breed of dog, which may come with some or all of those breed’s characteristics. If you get a herding dog, don’t be upset when it nips at the heels of running children; if you share your world with a Chow Chow, there is a good possibility that it will be wary of any strangers entering your home; and if you have a pit bull like me, you shouldn’t be surprised if she’s dog reactive.

Respect and love your dog for who they are and understand that there is a learning curve for another species coming into the human world. Even though your dog may be amazingly trained, there will still be those times when he forgets his training and remembers, “oh yeah, I’m a dog and that’s the mailman.” Bark, bark, bark.


Hayley and I
during our first
week together

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A Matter of Perspective

Last week, the day after Christmas, I was relaxing at home with my family when I heard my wife call my name. She was standing at our front door, urgently gesturing me to hurry over to her. I hustled over and looked out at the street below. My house is set up on a hill on a busy street in Bloomfield, NJ, where cars zoom past at speeds well over the 25 MPH speed limit. On this day, however, no one was going very fast due to the accumulating snowfall and medium-sized dog walking in the middle of the road.

I quickly threw on my coat, grabbed a slip leash, and headed out into the late afternoon snow. The dog was literally walking in the middle of the street followed by some impatient drivers and a few people on foot who were trying to coax it out of the road. As a few of the Good Samaritans drew near, the dog broke into a light jog and veered off the road and onto the sidewalk.

As I approached I could see that the dog was a light brown, female, chow mix with a little stump for a tail, and a rather confused look on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was in shock or just a little disoriented, and although it showed no signs of fear or anxiety it was a bit wary of the humans closing in.

One woman tried to coax it over with some dog biscuits, while another person knelt down and tried to verbally lure the dog in. Both approaches didn’t work and the dog turned and jogged into the back of one of the homes lining the street.

The wind picked up and the snow began to fall at a more rapid rate, and as I reached the back of the yard I realized it was just myself and one other guy left in the chase. I felt the dog was unsure but not in any way aggressive or fearful, and that I just needed to gain her trust slowly.

Behind the homes there was a small wooded area, containing a small brook. The snow covered dog ran into the tree line and moved along the water’s edge for about 20 feet, then stopped and looked back at us. I turned my back to her and started walking backwards toward her. The other guy with me saw this and asked if I had done this before. I explained that I was a dog trainer and that I was trying to make the dog as comfortable with my presence as possible.

I don’t know if it was his confidence in my ability or the cold of the wind, but the next time I looked up he was gone, leaving me alone with the dog. I knew this was actually a good thing because too many people would only frighten this timid girl off.

She went deeper into woods and I slowly followed. After a time, she came to a section of fallen trees that left her kind of trapped in a dead end. The only way out besides coming back toward me, was a small path that lead back to the houses on my street. I carefully crept forward inch by inch. When I got about 10 feet from her, she started to walk reluctantly toward me. It seemed like she was going to risk going past me to gain her freedom. I got my leash ready, knowing I may only get once chance at catching her.

When she got within arms reach, I spoke to her softly and gently tried to place the loop of my slip leash over her head. I couldn’t get it around her neck and she bolted backward. That’s when she noticed the path leading back up to the houses and went for it.

My heart sank, thinking that I just blew my one and only chance to catch her. She ran up the narrow path and I followed, refusing to give up. She reached another house and started walking around one side. I sprinted around the other side of the house hoping to cut her off before she reached the street again. It worked and I came around the corner just as she reached the two cars parked in the driveway.

We played a little game of cat and mouse around the cars, trying to out maneuver each other, but at last she hesitated a little too long and I was able to slide the leash around her neck. The feeling of relief and triumph was overwhelming.

I arrived back at my house with my reluctant companion 45 min. after I had set out. During that time another inch or two of snow had hit the ground, and the darkening sky showed little signs of slowing. I called animal control, knowing that the odds of getting anyone out here in this weather was slim, but to my surprise, he arrived at my house in fifteen minutes. When I thanked Dan, the animal control officer, for coming out in such bad weather, he simply said, “no problem, that’s what I do,” and his smile revealed just how much he really cared for the animals under his care.

That night, a blizzard covered Northern New Jersey, blanketing the landscape with two feet of snow and gusty winds. I don’t think there is any way a stray, disoriented dog would have survived the night in those elements, unprotected.

Later that night as I was cozily lying in my bed, and the little stray dog was warming up at the Bloomfield Animals shelter, I thought about what had just happened. That little dog spent who knows how long out on the streets trying to elude capture, and when she was finally leashed up by this strange human and taken into captivity, it must have seen like such bad luck to her. She had failed – I captured and incarcerated her against her will – certainly a horrible event. However, when you consider the winter blizzard that would have probably killed her, had she remained outside, and that her human family came the very next day to take her back home, getting leashed and locked up was the best thing that ever happened to her.

So, no matter what negative things happen to you this New Year, remember that given some perspective, you may feel very differently about the situation. Storms always pass, winter always ends, and what seems like disaster can sometimes be your saving grace. Happy New Year.

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Open Minded Dog Training

Last week I was lucky enough to be on vacation in the Dominican Republic, where I spent my days soaking up the sun and reading books on the beach. The first book on my list was Cesar’s Rules by Cesar Millan. For his latest book the Dog Whisperer invited a handful of trainers to meet with him and show him their techniques and methods for working with dogs. The really cool thing about this is that Cesar chose people who use very different training philosophies than himself, including some who have publicly criticized his methods.

When I first got into the profession of dog behavior and training I was very dismayed at how the industry is so adamantly divided between positive dog trainers and dog whisperers. I made it a point to learn from as many different trainers with widely varying approaches, enabling me to take bits and pieces from all of them and make my own unique style. I truly believe that it’s this open-minded, always willing to learn philosophy that has made me successful. I credit Cesar Millan and Ian Dunbar as my two biggest influences - and they are total opposites in training styles.

Dog Whisperers tend to look down on positive trainers as indiscriminant treat machines, while positive trainers scoff at the whisperers as uneducated goons. Early this year, posted a comment on my Facebook page after Cesar’s longtime dog Daddy passed away, which simply said, “No matter what you think of Cesar, you have to admit that Daddy was a pretty special dog.” Within minutes of me hitting the enter key, positive trainers left me long rants on how Cesar is horrible and they were disappointed in me for liking him. This, to me, is a prime example of how close-minded people can be. I never said anything about Cesar’s methods or techniques. I was just morning the loss of a dog – a dog that has done more to help the perception of pit bulls than all other trainers in the world combined. However, they just saw the “C-word” and the door to their mind slammed shut.

I’ve always felt that what the world of dog training needs is not mud-slinging and emotional tirades, but collaboration and support. Aren’t we all on the same team? The way some of these trainers talk about Cesar you would think he was Hitler. Even if you don’t agree with his techniques, I think we can agree that Cesar is not trying to intentionally harm dogs. At worst you might think he’s misguided and misinformed, but not malicious. And even the most purest of positive trainers has to admit that he does some things really well, so why not give him some credit for it, or just say nothing. (I single out positive trainers in this regard because historically they are the most vocal about their dislikes)

I think now is the time to stop all the bickering and come together as peers and work together to improve the dog training industry, and help more people and dogs live better lives together. In this new book, Cesar Millan has taken a big step toward this goal. He’s invited eleven different trainers to show him the best of what they do, so that the reader can decide what techniques might benefit them. Everyone person is different, every situation is different, and every dog is different, requiring a different approach to be successful.

Cesar’s Rules (which I find to be a strange title, given that he’s describing many techniques that he doesn’t use) gives each of the eleven trainers a chance to tell how they work with dogs and why it works for them. It gives the reader a great number of resources and perspectives to experiment with. The book is well written with Cesar’s usual charm and whit coming through each page. I think that all the trainers involved with the book can be proud of how they were depicted and I really hope it’s only a taste of the kind of collaboration to come in the future.

I really hope that Cesar’s Rules will not only help people with their dogs at home, but also begin to bridge the gap in the dog training community. As always, my mind remains open and I’m always looking for the next person or dog to teach me some new tricks.


Ian Dunbar with Cesar Millan

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Giving Rewards the Right Way

The easiest and quickest way to teach your dog a new command, trick or behavior is with the use of rewards. Do something for me and I’ll do something for you. Dogs are very eager to please, and properly motivated, will do just about any silly thing you want them to do. Done right, rewarding your dog will make training easy and fun for both you and your pooch. Done wrong, it will lead to frustration and noncompliance.

Luring (with a treat) is the best way to shape a dog into an unknown behavior such as sit, down, or stand. Once your dogs knows the movement, you remove the lure and just use the verbal and/or hand signal, then reward him upon completion of the action. Then you transition to intermittent rewards – rewarding for the action every second, third, fifth, or tenth time. Intermittent rewarding is much more powerful than rewarding every single time. It’s much more motivating than simply getting a treat every single time. It’s like people at the slot machine: they win one out of a hundred times, but it keeps them enthusiastically pulling that one armed bandit the other ninety-nine times.

Rewards don’t always have to be food though. Although for most dogs food is what really puts the wag in their tails, many dogs are more motivated by toys. Actually, play time is a great time to sneak in some training. If you’re playing a rousing game of fetch or tug, stop play every so often and ask your dog to do something, then his reward is more play. I would always wait for him to go from an excited state of mind to calm before giving the reward. This will give you the ability to get him to go from excited to calm quickly and easily.

I love using “life rewards” in my day to day life and training with my dog. There is so much good stuff in a dog’s world in the average day that he’s getting for free, so why not take the opportunity to teach him some manners along the way. Getting his food is a reward; going outside is a reward; coming up on the bed (if you allow it) is a reward, etc. A dog’s life is jam packed with rewards, and all of these are opportunities for training for you.

At this point in my relationship with my dog, all I really want from her most of the time is simple eye contact. Before she goes out the door, all I ask is that she looks up at me and wait to be invited out. When she wants to come up on the bed she will walk over, look up at me, and wait for permission to come up. Most of the time she gets her reward, she just needs to say “please” first.

If you are using food to reward your dog make sure it is in fact a reward and not a bribe. Once your dog knows a command or behavior that you have taught, the food should be out of view. If your dog has to see the food to do what is asked, that’s a bribe. However, if you ask your dog to do something with no sign of the food, and then give it after he has complied, that’s a reward. This is a big distinction that too many people mess up. Consistently having to bribe your dog is the quickest way to an out of control do that doesn’t listen to a word you say.

All dogs are good most of the time, so don’t forget to tell them. Reward them as much as possible with verbal praise and affection to let them know they are doing a great job. Life in general is very rewarding – for us and our dogs. If you make sure you’re rewarding your dog often and in the right way, you’ll see how really good your pooch can be.

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The Dog You Want vs. the Dog You Have

Most people call me because they want to change one, some or all of their dog’s behavior. Often it’s a problem that they in fact created (usually inadvertently) which can be corrected, or at least improved upon, with a little knowledge and time. Once they have gotten to the point to pick up the phone and make the call to me, they are eager for help and are mentally ready to do whatever it takes to solve the issue. And when my clients are motivated in this way it usually means that they will succeed to improve their situation.

To a dog trainer, there’s nothing better than a very motivated and compliant client. Sometimes though, that same motivation can be a hindrance.

When I first adopted my dog Hayley 9 years ago, I had great visions of hanging out with the local dog community, watching Hayley romp and play with other dogs. Upon bringing her home, my dreams came true as I found a bunch of locals who all met at a park every morning and let their dogs off leash to play (this was before there were any dog parks in the area).

For a few months it was great fun, but then Hayley hit adolescence and everything changed. She began asserting herself in play and soon I had to pull her off her doggie buddies before things got out of hand. I was always able to break things up before they got serious, but it was very concerning.

I had a big decision to make. Do I continue to put Hayley in that position just because I still wanted to enjoy the mornings with my dog friendly amigos? After a long conversation with myself I came to the conclusion that it would not be in Hayley’s best interest to continue to allow her to play off leash with other dogs. I was sad because I really had a blast hanging out with my new friends, watching the dogs have such a great time, but ultimately I had to do what was best for Hayley.

I find that many people have a hard time letting go of the dog they’ve created in their head. Before anyone gets a dog they play detailed movies in their mind of all the things they will do with their new dog, and it becomes a blunt shock when those movies don’t turn out exactly as imagined.

Just like people are different, with different likes and dislikes, so it is with dogs. You may want a dog that sits on your lap for hours a day and sleeps under the covers with you, but the reality is you may have a dog that prefers to sleep in his own bed and is not terribly affectionate. And that’s okay.

Just love your dog for who he is, without trying to force him into the mold of the dog in your head. Enjoy the things you can do with your dog instead of forcibly trying to make the dog into something he’s not. This is especially true of dogs that come with some behavior issues. Depending on the severity of the issue, you may not be able to completely solve the problem.

Don’t hesitate to try to train your dog, but be realistic and be willing to accept your dog for who he is. Every dog is special. Love your dog for the things that make him unique and try not to hold unrealistic expectations of him for things that are not in his personality.

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Be a Good Parent to Your Dog

Today was the first day of school (ever) for my little twin girls. They are just about two and a half years old, and my wife and I were both excited and nervous to see how they would do. When we picked them up this afternoon we were very pleased to hear that they had a fun time and were very respectful and also showed good manners (as good as you can expect for two year olds). All the time and work my wife and I did teaching our girls rules and boundaries, going over what is and what isn’t appropriate, and detailing exactly what is in fact edible, seemed to really make a difference. They are good kids and I think it shows.

The behavior of our children is a direct result of our parent skills, and the same hold true of our dogs. Now that I have kids I realized how raising kids and dogs very similar. Go to any playground and find the one kid who is totally out of control. I’ll bet you cash money that if his parents also have a dog, he’s out of control too. Come on, think about people you know who have kids and dogs. Odds are the dogs and the kids share good or bad behavior.

The reason this is always true is because both children and dogs require a similar structure of rules and boundaries to grow up well. It’s all about leadership. Over the last few years the word leadership has gotten somewhat of a bad connotation because some people misunderstand what leadership really is and apply it incorrectly. Make no mistake, leadership is imperative to having a good relationship with your dog and is the foundation of helping your dog develop into a well-balanced adult dog. If you don’t like the work “leadership,” than use parenting - it’s all the same thing.

Unlike children, our dogs are a totally different species with completely different innate tendencies, which makes leadership even more crucial. Dogs crave structure and guidance to figure out just how to fit into our wacky human world. We need to be their teachers, showing them just what’s right and wrong, what’s appropriate behavior, and what is indeed edible for them. It takes time, patience and understanding, just has parenting does.

I’ve been lucky, in that working with dogs has always come easy to me. Kids, not so much. The first year with my twins was not that fun for me. I’m ashamed to say I did my share of screaming and losing my cool, which never had any positive effect on my kids. Then one day my wife told me something that changed my world. She sat me down one day when my kids were being particularly difficult and said, “Sweetie, please just pretend they’re dogs.”

I thought about that strange sentence for a moment, and then the epiphany hit me. What would I do if instead of two screaming (then) one year olds, I was with two barking, misbehaving dogs? I would remain in control and calmly address the situation. And that’s what I did from that day forward, and the change was instantaneous. My kids responded better and our relationship improved greatly. Many parents realize that yelling and screaming at their kids is counterproductive, but fail to see that the same holds true with their dogs.

So be a good leader and parent to your kids and your dogs. Give them the structure and boundaries they crave and they will all grow up to be healthy, well-balanced adults.

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