Just Breathe

Life can be a blur of motion and a cacophony (my new favorite word I just discovered in the book I’m currently reading and I just couldn’t wait to use it – threw it in my very first sentence! For those uninformed, as I was a day ago, it means a combination of discordant sounds) of noise. Our days race by, the next faster than the last, and if we’re not careful we can get caught up in the wake and not realize it.

I don’t know about you, but most of the time I find it hard to concentrate and focus on the task at hand because my mind is racing through my to-do list and mentally sorting out my upcoming obligations. I’m constantly multi-tasking as much as possible in an attempt to squeeze in everything that needs to be done.

This constant busy mental motion creates a less than appealing state of mind, specifically in relation to our interactions with others. When we’re rushing around with a busy mind we will be more easily frustrated, have a short temper, won’t listen well and leave bad impressions on those we come into contact with.

Although we may be aware of this happening with our family and friends, we may not realize how it affects our relationship with our dog. Our dogs are more sensitive than our human associates and are more easily influenced by a hurried, frustrated state of mind.

Dogs are very aware of how we’re feeling and their behavior will often reflect our energy. If your dog is acting up and you get easily frustrated and impatient, your dog will only respond with similar negative energy – usually in the form of his annoying behavior of choice. This will cause you to become even more frustrated and angry because now what should have taken you a few minutes to accomplish is quickly doubling and tripling in time.

Nothing good will come when you are in a rushed or impatient. There is a way to break this cycle and stop your mind before it derails, and it won’t take you any additional time out of your busy schedule because it’s something you are already doing: breathing.

Breathing may be something we do all the time, each and every day, but we rarely give it much thought and often take for granted its importance. I recommend taking a second or two to take a big deep breath before you begin any interaction with your dog. This one, cleansing breathe will help facilitate being calm and make you take note of how you are feeling. You will be surprised what a big impact this simple exercise can have on your interactions with your dog (and people). Before you enter into situations where you typically get frustrated, take a brief moment to take one big, cleansing breath. The more you do this throughout your day, the greater the positive change in your state of mind will be.

So start right now – take a deep breathe . . . Feels good doesn’t it.

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The Time is Now

This weekend I did a phone consultation with a family with an aggressive Rottweiler. In addition to being very aggressive with strangers, he also shows aggressive behavior toward his human family. He will not let anyone handle him, resource guards just about everything, and cannot safely be taken to the vet.

I learned that the dog is eight years old and when asked how long the dog has been exhibiting the aggression, I was told for pretty much his entire life. For eight years his aggression has been slowly escalating and they have been living a life of constant management of it.

Recently, the dog was diagnosed with Diabetes which requires them to give insulin shots to him twice a day. When they attempted to give him the shots he reacted aggressively toward them. Without the insulin he will get weak and eventually die. That’s when they called me.

I did my best to give them some suggestions on how to best give the shots with some kind of safety, as well as how to work on changing his reactive behavior, but I didn’t have much confidence that it would be successful.

Early on Sunday, I emailed them inquiring on how things were going. The response I got was disheartening but not unexpected. They attempted to give him his injection but were unable to do it safely. Without the insulin, the dog got gradually weaker and they had to make the hard decision to put him down.

Eight years ago this aggression began, was unaddressed and continued to escalate. This did not have to end up way. Some of you may be quick to judge this family and wonder how could they have let it come to this? How could they not have done something about the aggression long ago? These questions seem reasonable but these were not bad people who didn’t care about their dog. They are like so many dog owners out there that either don’t see the issues with their dog realistically, or assume that they will get better without taking steps to correct them. It’s more common than you think.

The time to fix the issues with your dog is right now. Waiting and hoping they will improve will rarely do anything but make the rehabilitation harder and more time consuming. It’s all a numbers game. The longer your dog has been doing a behavior, the longer it will take to change it. It is possible to improve any dog’s behavior, but if they’ve been acting a certain way for years, things are not going to change in a week or two. And the longer you wait and trickier it is to work with.

So if your own dog has some issues that are concerning you, don’t wait, hoping for the best. Get proactive and start taking the steps today to improve the situation as soon as possible. Your dog is worth it.

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A Day in Your Dog's Fur

The more I’m around dogs the more I realized how they hold the secret to a happy life. No, I don’t mean butt sniffing and leg humping (although I do enjoy both now and again). I’m talking about the things that really matter.

Most people have heard that dogs are present-minded creatures, which means that they “live in the moment” and don’t spend a second thinking about what happened in the past or what’s on tap for the future. Although you’re probably already aware of this, have you ever contemplated it and realized the simple power of it?

Dogs are all about the here and now. They don’t care what horrible things happened just five minutes ago, and are totally unaware of any unpleasant things on the agenda in the future. They don’t dwell on their mistakes and are unconcerned about their potential failures of tomorrow.

Dogs make the best of every situation that comes their way. They don’t look at the dogs around the neighborhood, envying them if they have a bigger house, nicer collar or a live with a human with more time to spend with them. No, they truly appreciate everything in their life, no matter what.

Our dog’s biggest pleasures come from the simplest (and most inexpensive) events. They jump for joy (sometimes literally) at the proposition of a walk – even when it’s only around the block; totally enjoy the bliss of a sunbeam to lie in; and reach the same level of crazy excitement each and every time you throw their favorite squeaky toy (usually the one way past its prime, that has very little stuffing left and a smell that is so unique that it defies adjectives).

There is never any judgment about anything either. Our dogs don’t care how much money we make or if we gain a few pounds, and they don’t hold grudges if we break a promise or come home late. No, they greet us with the same happy smile and friendly wag of their tail no matter what.

We can learn a lot from out dogs if we just open ourselves up to what they have to teach. So, I invite you to take at least one day to live like a dog. Whatever you are doing today, give it your 100% attention. Don’t think about the next task, the rest of the day’s responsibilities, or the crap that hit the fan an hour ago. Just embrace what you’re doing fully. Be on the lookout for many amazing, simple pleasures present in everyday life. Take a moment to hear the birds singing in the morning, truly appreciate your car, and greet all your family and friends with all of the love and energy that your dog shows you.

We spend lots of time trying to train our dogs how to live in the human world, take one day to let them show us how to live the life of a dog: a life of simple pleasures and daily joys.

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The Little Things

Life moves at the speed of life. It doesn’t wait for you to catch and won’t give you more time if you haven’t finished everything you need to get done. There’s no way to slow it down and there is little chance of getting more hours added to the day.

Getting to everything that needs to get done on a typical day can be a big challenge and you’re forced to prioritize your tasks to want needs your immediate attention and put the rest off. When you’re faced with work, kids, spouses, and a long list of daily obligations the one thing that usually gets pushed aside is the dog.

For me, with twin girls, my business, my nonprofit, and my wife there is little time for myself or my dog. Those are the two aspect of my life that I have prioritized last, which means they usually get little or no attention.

I’ve recently come to realize is that, not only can I take care of both myself and my dog at the same time, but it doesn’t have to take too much time out of my busy day. Both me and my dog love spending time together, so by taking care of her, I’m also taking care of myself. Even on the busiest of days, I can feasibly take small increments of time throughout my day to spend with my dog, which can make a difference for both of us. Little things really do go a long way. If you take a few minutes here and there throughout the day, it can add up to a decent amount of time.

So here are my recommendations for you to get more out of your day with your dog.
1. Whatever time you currently get up, set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and spend that time with your dog. Make your morning walk longer or spend that time playing with a toy.
2. Do some simple obedience or tricks (whatever your dog knows) 3-4 times throughout the day for five minutes. I like to do these before meal times or before we go out for our walks.
3. Before you go to bed at night, spend 5-10 minutes of quite time petting and loving your dog. Don’t do this while watching TV or talking to someone else – instead really spend the time with your dog enjoying and appreciating him/her.

When you do have the extra time (like on your days off from work or when the kids are at school) go for that long walk or some more lengthy playtime and interaction with your dog. Although we would love to spend an hour or two walking and playing with our dogs each day, it’s just not always possible. We can, however, carve out short periods of time throughout the day, which can greatly improve our day and give your dog some much needed (and deserved) attention.

So, get away from you computer right now and start your first five minutes with your friendly neighborhood Fido.

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How to Pet a Dog

Although Dog Bite Prevention Week doesn’t take place until May (15th – 21st), I feel it’s never too soon to talk about ways to prevent dog bites from occurring. The sad thing about when dogs bite people is that most could easily be avoided. All you need is a little knowledge, and the time to get informed is right now.

Too many times I see people reach out to pet a dog, paying no attention to how the dog feels about their approach. Think about it? How would you feel if someone you didn’t know just walked up to you and shook your hand or gave you a big hug? Assuming it’s not Megan Fox, I would be pretty uncomfortable with this strange person invading my personal space uninvited.

Most people expect every dog to be a happy-go-lucky, super friendly, just waiting for you to come over and pet me pooch. And yes, there are plenty of those kinds of dogs out there but there are also some that have been under socialized, neglected or just plain grumpy.

Here are some tips when interacting with a new dog:
1. Taking a few moments to observe the dog you’re about to interact with and gage his temperament and mood.
2. Don’t approach the - let the dog come to you.
3. Try not to directly face the dog – keep your body at a slight angle(direct body orientation and eye contact can be a bit confrontational to some dogs)
4. If the dog is shy, don’t make sustained eye contact with him.
5. Let the dog sniff you first – that’s how dogs get to know you.
6. Hold out your extended hand, with your palm facing up.
7. If and when the dog comes over to you and you’re ready to pet him, give him a scratch under the chin or on the side of head – not over the head.

I usually squat down and rest my arms on my knees with my palms facing up. I don’t move to the dog, but instead wait for the dog to come me. If the dog is interested in meeting me he will move into my space, if not then maybe he just isn’t ready to interact with me just yet. The key is everything should be on the dog's terms.

This is a hard thing for many “dog” people to grasp because the urge to pet a cut dog can be overwhelming. Avoid the typical human tendency to stroke a dog over its head. This can be a bit too forward and uncomfortable for some dogs. Always scratch under the chin or on the side of his head under his ears.

Children should ALWAYS be supervised during dog interactions, and they should be taught how to respect and behave with dogs. I have 3 year old twins and I’ve spent lots of time teaching them exactly what the can and cannot do with our dog, Hayley. Kids are a bit unpredictable so I would always lean on the side of caution, especially with a dog you don’t know well. The victims of the majority of reported dog bites are kids, to you can never be too careful.

If you approach all situations with some thought and let the dog dictate how much interaction there will be, you should have a great encounter. Be aware, act smart and enjoy those doggies.

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State of Mind Dog Training

One of the most difficult questions I get asked regularly is “what kind of dog trainer are you?”

It seems like such a simple request, but for me there’s no easy way answer that. People who ask that question are usually expecting one of two answers: dog whisperer or positive dog trainer. Those are the two big dog training philosophies that people are aware of and looking for, and the followers of both methodologies are very loyal to their own and distrustful of the other.

This makes my answer to the question, “what kind of trainer are you?” confusing because I am neither dog whisperer nor positive trainer and, at the same time I’m both. See? Now you’re confused.

My approach to dog training (and most things) is to always remain open-minded. This, I strongly believe, is the key to growth and development. If you close yourself off to something, you miss valuable opportunities to learn. Sometimes you discover something that you would never have thought of, and other times you get conformation that you’re way was indeed the better way. No matter what, you have more information and are able to increase your knowledge base about a subject.

I have never met dog trainer or dog training philosophy that I’ve agreed with 100%. However, I have found value in every single trainer I’ve talked to, watched, read, or shared a drink with. No matter who they are or what they believe, I’ve always come away with something.

As I’ve gone through my career as a dog behavior professional I’ve decided it’s about time I had an easy answer to the often asked question. Something that best describes my unique approach in which I train dogs and the people they share their lives with. So, if you really want to know, I’m a state of mind dog trainer. That’s the official title I’m going with because it best describes how I work with dogs.

For me, I care more about state of mind (both the dogs and the humans involved) over anything the dog is actually doing. A dog’s behavior is a direct result of his state of mind, and your state of mind is directly influencing your dog’s mindset and, in turn, his actions.

The reason your dog does everything is based on his state of mind at the time. If you try to alter your dog’s behavior without changing his state of mind you will get nowhere fast. For example, I never treat jumping, I treat excitement. If your dog is calm, he’s not going to jump. Dogs make really bad decisions in anything but a calm state of mind. If you make a dog sit but his mind is not calm, you’ve only put a very temporary band-aid on the problem.

Your state of mind is extremely important as well. Dogs are highly influenced by how you feel at any given moment. If you are not calm and confident, your relationship and communication with your dog will suffer. We give our emotional baggage to our dogs. If you are anxious in a given situation, there’s a very good chance you dog will become anxious as well, or he will become assertive and take the initiative to get his unstable human away from the stimulus that he feels is causing you’re anxiety.

My first step in treating everything dog related begins and ends with state of mind. It’s the most important aspect that affects your dog’s behavior. Always strive to achieve a nice calm state of mind for you and your dog. Doing this will cure more behavior problems than any training tool or yummy treat out there.

I invite you to join me and embrace State of Mind dog training and see how your life with you four-legged pal improves.

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Realistic Expectations

When I look back on the nine years I’ve spent with my dog Hayley, I cringe at some of the stupid mistakes I made when I first got her. Back then, I wasn’t a trainer - I was just a guy getting his first dog, with pretty much no real knowledge of how to train or live with a dog. Like everyone else in the same situation, I made more than my fair share of mistakes.

One thing I’ve realized is that you can’t feel bad about errors you made with your dog in the past. Many people beat themselves up for past blunders and mishaps, but it’s very unfair to do that. All you can ever do is the best with the information you have. Nine years ago, I did the very best with the limited knowledge about dogs that I had, and although it wasn’t ideal, it was my best at the time. So don’t think back to what you should have or could have done with your last dog, or when your current dog was a puppy. Instead, get yourself more informed now, do better today, and forget the past.

One of my big mistakes was setting unrealistic expectations for Hayley. I assumed she would come into my home, never have an accident, know just how to behave, never get over excited, instantly know my house rules, and understand whatever I wanted of her at all times. This, of course, was totally unfair to her, and caused quite a bit of unnecessary conflict in those early days.

I wish I realized then, what I realize now: that on her best day, Hayley is, and will always be, a dog. No matter what, she’s going to act like a dog – always and forever. If she sees a squirrel, she’s going to chase it; if someone new comes over, she’d going to be excited; and in a room with a perfectly comfy couch, she’s not going to choose to sleep on the floor. She’s a dog. And that’s more than just okay – that’s great! I wanted a dog, not another human roommate.

Once I came to terms with the realization that Hayley was indeed a dog, and merely acting as a dog should, I relaxed my expectations and began to enjoy the process of training her to better adapt to my very human lifestyle. Instead of resenting what I labeled as misbehaving, I looking at her with understanding and patience (well, maybe not too much patience), and worked to improve her behaviors.

Not only do you have a dog, but you have a particular breed of dog, which may come with some or all of those breed’s characteristics. If you get a herding dog, don’t be upset when it nips at the heels of running children; if you share your world with a Chow Chow, there is a good possibility that it will be wary of any strangers entering your home; and if you have a pit bull like me, you shouldn’t be surprised if she’s dog reactive.

Respect and love your dog for who they are and understand that there is a learning curve for another species coming into the human world. Even though your dog may be amazingly trained, there will still be those times when he forgets his training and remembers, “oh yeah, I’m a dog and that’s the mailman.” Bark, bark, bark.


Hayley and I
during our first
week together

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